Thursday, August 12, 2010


Dan Maes. Is Crazy.

Look. Here's the deal.

I didn't write about Candidate Dan's bike gaffe when it happened. Because writers far more talented than I did jump all over that shit.

But I would like to make a few comments on the situation.

How seriously do you take this warning?

As a side-feature of the original Denver Post article, a poll asked "How seriously do you take this warning?" with choices ranging from "Very seriously" to "Not seriously at all".

"Not seriously at all" beat "Very seriously" 54% to 32%. Which is very close to the 50 to 38 by which Hickenlooper is polling ahead of Maes, so I suppose the numbers make sense.

But, no. Seriously? 32% of you think this is something that should be taken very seriously? I have to assume that there were many people selecting this option for comedic value.


United Communist Nations

A lot of the ridicule from the blogs came in the form of commie jokes and soviet bike posters.

Which is obviously funny.

But inaccurate. Because in the Maesiverse, bikes are not communist. They are United Nationsist. Candidate Dan's statement is that Denver B-Cycle is a "very specific [strategy] that [is] dictated to us by this United Nations program that mayors have signed on to" and that "it could threaten our personal freedoms".

This is an incredibly stupid thing to say for the following reasons.

  1. The program Candidate Dan is referring is ICLEI - Local Governments for Sustainability, of which Denver is a member. It was founded in 1990 at the UN building in New York. ICLEI has benefited from the networking and communications strengths of the UN, but as far as I can tell, this is the only connection between ICLEI and the UN.

  2. The subsequent linking of B-Cycle to ICLEI is a tiny bit of a stretch. I mean, they both share the goal of sustainable growth, so I guess I can understand the suspicion. But B-Cycle disavowed themselves of all allegations.

  3. The assertion that a UN program could threaten our personal freedoms is beyond ridiculous. The UN's Universal Declaration of Human Rights was adopted over 60 years ago and contains 30 articles compared to the US Bill of Rights's 10 amendments. This organization is champion of human rights.

  4. It is by his own admission an unfounded and random statement! He didn't actually pull it out of his ass; he pulled it out of a portfolio that some woman thrust into his hands and that he had not actually read.

In closing

While this bike situation is the most comical moment of Candidate Dan's campaign, his sincere belief in statements just as wacky, but extraordinarily more frightening, makes him a truly terrifying potential governor.

But that's politics, and this is a bike blog.

Suffice it to say, I'm thankful there's not actually a chance of this wack-a-doo winning office. I welcome anyone and everyone to join me in beginning to laugh him off the stage.

Here's to election season!

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